I wait in this in between place,
this place that is nowhere.
I wait alone with myself,
with our many selves,
hesitant to commit.
.
Through this mist,
this pervasive sadness that coats my bones,
a lilt of an accent,
bright memories of yesterday –
of dragonflies and of stairways,
we wonder which of us is real,
which of us is to be real.
.
Do I decide?
Is the decision mine
to collapse these infinite possibilities
into a single,
crystalline
reality?
Is the true self decided by fate
by God,
or a foolish boy’s choice?
.
I watch the alternatives crumple
into the hungering fog of impossibility.
.
I stand and wait,
postponing,
in this place of infinite loss.
I cannot reach out,
will not reach out,
for I have lost the desire for direction,
for life or for death.
.
So I stand within this self,
in the midst of this host of possible selves –
the dwindling remains of who we could have been,
would have been,
if not for…
.
There is no collapse,
no singular focus.
We are all illusion,
misperception,
visions to blind children.
.
I am truly thankful for these thoughts,
these inwardly directed thoughts from outside,
these shining lines of hope,
memories,
love.
.
But yet I wait here,
unsure,
and anything but alone.
4.24.14
April 24th, 2014 at 11:28 am
“I watch the alternatives crumple into the hungering fog of impossibility.” A splendid line and a very fine poem to boot. I’m going to re-blog you. -sonmicloud
April 24th, 2014 at 11:35 am
thank you most sincerely.
this is very raw,
for me,
at the moment,
so the affirmation
is quite welcomed…
it is nice to find resonance,
from time to time,
and you seem to have found
quite a few
of my chinks.
April 24th, 2014 at 11:40 am
Resonance, yes. Far and few between so often. And you are most welcome, good poetry is a pleasure to unearth – sonmicloud.
April 24th, 2014 at 11:31 am
Reblogged this on Sonmi's Cloud and commented:
This is highly meritable, it feels right. As a poem. dtdeege has hit some nail uncannily on the head for me with this piece, I particularly like – “I watch the alternatives crumple into the hungering fog of impossibility.”
April 24th, 2014 at 11:57 am
Wow! That’s up there with the best of read for a good while. Top stuff mate!
“But yet I wait here,
unsure,
and anything but alone”
What a finish!
Check out my post from today, similar subject matter.
Take care!
Leroy
April 24th, 2014 at 12:00 pm
wow.
I am flattered.
This is more praise
that a boy is accustomed to reading.
I will indeed stop by,
for I could do with
commiseration,
understanding.
May 13th, 2014 at 9:07 pm
I read this through twice – this is an amazing piece of work! I hope you realize that. Thank you for sharing…. xo – Deb
May 13th, 2014 at 9:10 pm
This one seems to resonate well.
I do like it,
And have read it many times over.
May 22nd, 2014 at 10:52 am
Wow! You have such a deep wonderful way about you. I kept reading it over and finally printed and put on my board. Thank you!!
May 22nd, 2014 at 11:02 am
No, thank you.
I am at the edge of shadow,
and a few words
go a long way
in illuminating
this place.