“How do you spell emptiness?”
I asked and she held out her hand,
withdrew her heart,
and breathed my name.
“How do you draw alone
and tore the colors from the sky.
I danced that night the dance of the trees,
drawing of magic from the Earth
as I cried for the changes in my heart.
“No one dances together,”
again breathing my name,
again tasting my name in the wind.
“no one dances together,
and together is not…
“Look at me!”
dull words that came back to me on that wind,
that most terrible wind.
“look at me and see me,
for my insanity is not of the surface.”
I glanced at my skin,
The dance for that day,
again the dance of the trees
was meaningless in her eyes,
and she knew nothing,
only I knew.
The stars loved me that night,
and the moon touched the world
with her cold light –
there were no more colors to steal from the sky.
Afraid and alone melted in my knowledge
and she diminished to a shadow.
Here at the edge we are all the same,
and she diminished.
“you know nothing,
and have no wish to learn.
You know only of my emptiness,”
as the cure was lost with the colors
as the night awoke and scattered the day.
She knew nothing of nothing,
and still I believed her,
her honeyed voice of milk,
sliding the blade into my world –
I would not be that again.
The past is a story, a legend.
for thoughts of yesterday make you die.
“Do not wilt,”
I told her,
for already I had dreamt of fire
and of paradise falling.
“Do not think of the legend,
of what was or who I hoped to be,”
I grew enraged with futility
as her mind closed on false thought.
Drown this story,
forget these colors -the moon and the stars,
for fantasy shines form within,
and it is to the inside we must flee.
The inside is safe,
I go to the inside when I think of your name.
I go to watch the tragedy melt.
I go for the rivers.
I fell into the river that night
as she sang the similarities
between my name
I pulled her down into the river to stop the song
and to find those colors.
I danced in the water,
again the dance of the trees,
and forgot of empty
and of words –
I forgot the difference.
I am there now,
sinking in the river,
forgetting yesterday and her stories.
I sink into peace.